On the second day of work my coworker gave to me…

A triplet pregnancy announcement and a partridge in a pear tree. 

I was a little blindsided to be honest, especially when people began to quiz her on how her triplets were conceived (IUI+ Injectables). For a moment I felt shock, then a pang of jealousy (about her success, NOT the triplets), then my heart really went out to her, I wondered if I should identify myself as a fellow IF sister let her know that I “get it” but I remembered that I really wanted to close that chapter in my life and didn’t want to be the “infertile lady” at my work. I don’t know her that well at this point but I’ve decided to avoid the topic of pregnancy and kids as much as possible.  My work persona is going to be some one who never was jazzed about kids and prefers beagles instead. 

Big Changes


A beautiful view of the Delicate Arch from my camping trip this weekend



So I haven’t decided what to do about the privacy thing, but there is a particular topic I am dying to discuss but don’t feel like I should share with the whole world. I am still cogitating on my options..

On to the big news… I got the job I wanted. I’m really excited because its a fairly new role for nurses (thank you affordable health care act) and really focuses on improving quality of care and outcomes of patients with chronic diseases. The goal is to keep them healthy, help them manage their chronic conditions, keep them out of the hospital or from getting worse…and save money for the health care system. I have seen a need for such a role for a long time but the US health care system tends to spend most of its resources on people who are really sick, not preventing them from becoming that way. Did I mention I am also getting a pretty substantial pay increase as well? As in very substantial? That part was a surprise to me because we never discussed money until I got the offer. I was really just hoping not to take a pay cut. Its a good thing I’m getting a raise because I had to buy a whole new wardrobe. They want business casual and since I have only ever worn scrubs I needed everything. Seriously I had one outfit that I wore to interviews and that’s it. I have discovered that dressing ones self in something that isn’t tee shirts, jeans, husbands clothes, and hand-me-down scrubs is expensive, very expensive. I am exited though because I finally feel like I have a grown up job… its about time.

Privacy Concerns

I have always considered my blog to be pretty anonymous since I don’t have a large internet footprint. I don’t facebook under my name or post photos, and here I only use first names and post the occasional photo. When you google me only 1 reference comes up if you use very specific search terms so I figure my internet privacy was pretty assured but I have overlooked a pretty obvious weakness… My blog is easily googlable by anyone who knows my email address. I dont post a lot of inflammatory stuff on my blog and most of the people I know IRL aren’t internet savvy enough to find this blog but I do want the option to protect my privacy if needed. I have 2 options: 1 is to get a new blog associated with a new email address only used for the purpose of my blog or 2 is to password protect certain posts as needed. I really prefer option 2 since I think it would cause the least disruption. So heres my question for my regular readers: How much would having password protected posts effect your reading experience? Would you feel awkward emailing me for a password? (I know I have felt super awkward myself in the past). My plan would be to use the tool only occasionally.

Let me know in the comment section how you feel about it..

PS: Did you know that my blog is the number 1 google result (besides the paid ads) when you google avocado bran muffins? I think thats kinda neat.

The Aftermath

Since I quit my job I have felt adrift, not sure what lies around the corner. Currently I am pursuing a job that I think would be a really great opportunity but if that falls through than I literally have zero plans. I took a break from my masters program because I anticipated this period of unemployment would be short and I didn’t want to pay tuition while unemployed, so right now I literally have nothing going on. I find myself uninterested in standard nursing jobs and if this opportunity doesn’t pan out I am seriously considering leaving the profession forever.  I dont have any idea what I might want to do, however, so yea, not sure what to do with that.

Another strange and unintended consequence of quitting my job is that my dog Willow is developing a strange unhealthy possessiveness of me. She was always a mama’s girl but since quitting they don’t go to daycare much anymore and we have been spending a lot of time together. Sprinkles has been bored with all the time at home but Willow is loving it and has glued herself to me. When my husband comes home from work she gets worse, insisting that I hold her or wedging herself between my husband and I on the couch. When I’m paying attention to Sprinkles she forces herself in between us and has started revenge peeing right in front of the dog door when ever my husband and I have sex.  Yesterday at the dog park she growled and snapped at a strange dog because it was jumping up on me and I was paying too much attention to it. I need to figure out what I’m doing with my life soon or she might go “Fatal Attraction” on me.

All I really want to do with my life these days is camp. First camping trip of the season is this weekend. Arches National Park, here I come.

A lot has happened… Part 2

When we last left off I had just learned that I needed to have an abscess on my tonsil lanced. My first thought was on how much it was going to hurt so I tried to talk the doctor out of it. He pointed out to me that I was getting to the point where the abscess was starting to close off my airway and that it really wasn’t something to mess around with. He promised they would drug me up nice before they did the procedure. I know I sound stupid for letting it get to this point but I was really in a lot of denial. I knew I had gotten myself into this and had to put on my big girl panties and get myself out. I agreed to head straight to the ER.

At this point in the story I realized that there is no way I should be going to work the next day. Besides the fact that I had a communicable disease I knew that I wouldn’t be fit to wake up at 3 am to go to work after being out all night at the ER not sleeping and being pumped with drugs. So I text my boss, briefly explain the situation and tell her that I wouldn’t be able to make it into work the next day. Her response was “Well just come in to work from 4 am to 9 am and IF there is enough staff coming in at that point you can go home, if not you need to stay the whole 12 hours.” I texted her again and said that I wouldn’t be fit to go into work at all and she texted me that I needed to call and find someone to cover me if i wasn’t going to come in. I told her I was on my way to the ER and wouldn’t be able to call around to find someone, she texted that she was out of town and “Sorry, cant help you”. I need to add that my boss was frequently out of town, was often unavailable, came into the office maybe 3 times a week, and was in violation of policy by being out of town at the same time as her assistant manager. Also, I had NEVER called in sick in the 2+ years I worked there and often got roped in to covering for others by her. Needless to say I felt very letdown and angry at her for basically telling me to fuck off and figure it out myself. I had been struggling a lot with my job and my overall dissatisfaction with it and I finally felt pushed over the edge.

I was livid the entire ride to the ER and when we got there it didn’t get much better. While we waited to see the doctor I called around but was having trouble finding someone to cover for me. I knew I couldn’t make it into work after having the abscess drained so I briefly considered not having it drained until the next day but then decided to let them drain the abscess but to not get any pain meds. Not a good idea because having your tonsil lanced is apparently even more painful than I imagined it to be. I had to stop them in the middle because I couldn’t continue with out meds. Jack really came through at this point by calling a coworker who had been wishy washy when I first called and guilting him into covering for me, so I was able to get the meds and finish the procedure. It hurt worse than the time my RE grabbed my cervix with an instrument to hard he poked a hole in it and had to stitch my cervix. Way worse, even with the meds.

After we made it home (around 2 am) we discussed long and hard my future at my current job (I was not buzzed at all from the morphine so this was done with a sound mind). Things had been bad for awhile but I felt so disrespected and hung out to dry by my boss that I wanted to quit on the spot, never to darken the doors again, to punish her. We have a very small staff so the loss of one would be very troublesome. My husband was on board but in the end I decided to give a months notice so if I had any more complications from my abscess I would have health insurance. My last day at that job was Jan 31 and I have been unemployed since… for the first time in my life (besides childhood).