Things never go according to plan or “Drinking and cacti” (part 1)


First I want to say thanks for the supportive comments on my last post, all your support means a lot. I plan on writing several posts unpacking our decision and the emotions associated with it at a later date but right now I want to focus on our vacation into the desert, our first vacation in 3 years.

The morning of the first day of vacation went incredibly well. We had spent a large chunk of the previous week packing and planning so we managed to get on the road by 8 am. I knew we had a long journey because in the past our average speeds in the VW bus ran about 55 mph and we had about 500 miles to go to get to our first destination, Mojave National Preserve.  The drama started at our first stop about 3 hours into the journey. We had stopped in a little town called Filmore for gas and while I was our walking the dogs Jack filled up the bus and then went inside to the bathroom. I came back to the bus and got in the back with the dogs to keep them from howling at every person who walked by. I sat in the back unnoticed (due to tinted windows) and saw a guy who looked like he worked for the gas station walk past our bus several times. He kept looking at the drivers side tire. After several minutes Jack walked back out and the guy went up to him and told him his tire looked low. Jack, who had carefully inspected our older tires before we left, was surprised by this but he was directed across the street to a tire shop where he could get some air. The air at the tire shop was not self service and while the technician filled our tires he noticed places on the front 2 tires where they were coming apart. Even though Jack had checked them before we left somehow in the 3 hours we had been driving their condition had deteriorated to the point of being dangerous. We reluctantly agreed to replace the front 2 tires at a grand total of 500 bucks (ouch). Then it all began to feel like a scam… Suddenly our back tires were coming apart as well and we “would be lucky if they lasted 5 miles” They really laid the pressure on. Jack, who knows a lot about cars, knew they looked fine but they basically called him an incompetent and insisted, it took a lot to continue to refuse. Then the guy who noticed our tire was low at the first gas station came over (turns out he owns the tire shop) and laid into us about how we were doomed if we only replace the front tires (which legitimately needed to be replaced) and offered to knock 20 bucks of the over 1000 dollar total “if money was going to be a problem” Finally they shut up and replaced the tires and we got back on the road. Looking back I wonder just a little bit if they somehow sabotaged our front tires because the whole thing just felt like a slick scam (I know I’m just being dramatic)

The rest of the drive was pretty smooth through Las Vegas (did you know you can scuba dive with sharks in Vegas?!?!) and since we were making such good time (60-65, go Heinrich!) we decided to push on to the preserve and not stop in Vegas like we originally planned.  The trip down to the preserve was fine too. Things got a little tricky when we started to try and make it to the campground since we lacked a detailed map of the preserve. Apparently the campground we were attempting to reach had 20 miles of badly washboarded gravel road leading to it. I was white knuckled the whole time as we were shaken so hard I thought my fillings would fall out. My husband kept chanting “Keep it together, Heinrich, keep it together”. We had contemplated turning back but it was very dark and late and we needed to find some place to stop for the night so we pressed on.  Needless to say we were very relieved when we made it to the campground in one piece… (to be continued)


Changing course

It’s time to put this out there and make it official. Jack and I are done pursuing fertility treatments and after I get my next period I am going back on birth control (to hopefully regulate my wacky hormones) and we will officially give up all TTC. We have decided to go the child-free route. I know we have been leaning this way for awhile but the more and more time that passes, the clearer this decision becomes. Life is too short to spend suffering and we were suffering. 2012 was without a doubt the worst year of my life. We have finally begun to heal and we have no desire to rip off those scabs and open up those wounds again. I’m so lucky to have my amazing husband and my 2 beagle children who need me. I love our little family and I wouldn’t change it one bit. Also I like that I’m walking away on my terms not broken, exhausted and out of options. Speaking of options, we haven’t decided what to do with our frozen embryos yet, we will probably leave them on ice for a little while in case we have a drastic change of heart, but I doubt it.  I feel really good about our decision and so lucky that we are on the same page. 

Mediterranean Fajitas

Okay so fajitas are not a traditional “mediterranean”  food but they are tasty and fit into our diet plan. This recipe is my husbands specialty and since he makes it slightly different each time its kind of tough to write down but it is my favorite.

Onions and Peppers

He cuts up one red onion, one white onion and 2 bell peppers (we like lots of leftovers)

Then he tosses them with equal parts lime juice and olive oil and then adds liberal amounts of tequila (however he has also used gin which is super tasty with onions) He adds a generous spoonful of minced garlic and about 1-2 teaspoons of cumin. He lets them sit in the fridge for about an hour to gel but this is not necessary if you don’t have the time. He then sautees them in a little more olive oil and any juices at the bottom of the bowl.

Chicken (this is allowed weekly on the mediterranean diet but only my husband eats meat)

He makes a lime juice and tequila marinade similar to that of the onions but omits the olive oil and adds a sprinkle of salt. He cooks the chicken in the marinade so it reduces into a nice sauce.

“Refried” Black Beans (this is what I eat instead of the chicken)

One can of black beans including the water poured into a small pot. Add salt, a tablespoon of butter ( I know, but you can have a small amount of butter) and a half tablespoon of olive oil. Simmer and smash the beans as they cook. They will thicken to the consistency of refried beans.

Add all together with cheese, sour cream, salsa if you want. We use whole wheat tortillas.