Missed opportunity

So on Wednesday my boss approached me and asked what I thought about taking over her role as unit manager. I have been a nurse for almost 10 years and I have a B.S. which makes me the most qualified of her current employees to take over the role of manager. By doing so I would almost double my salary. With things so up in the air with the procreation situation I told her I wouldn’t be able to commit to that kind of time right now.

Then yesterday I looked at my bank account and saw how run down it looks. Between fertility treatments (last cycle cost almost 20000), home improvements from a project that was started wayyy before all this started, and adding the fact that we have been eating out a ton (too tired to cook) we are finding ourselves in a much shakier position then this time last year. Plus we took on a loan. I had been avoiding looking at that stuff but now that it’s staring me in the face I’m stressed.

If we didn’t have 9 frozen embryos the choice would be clear. But I don’t feel like I can make any major decisions right now. Also she keeps bringing it up today and I’m starting to feel pressured. I almost just want to say yes and put the baby thing on the back burner for a couple of years. I might not get an opportunity like this again and it could mean a lot for my career. Aaahh if only I knew what the right decision was.

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11 thoughts on “Missed opportunity

  1. I say go for it! Lots of women go through IF treatments with big careers. I wouldn’t let the unknown get in the way of a great opportunity like this. Plus, like you said, it would be a great help financially. Everyone in IF land needs that kind of boost. 🙂

  2. I have to weigh in here and also say to go for it. A couple of years ago, I was offered a big promotion. I was just starting fertility treatments and figured I’d be pregnant pronto, so I almost didn’t take it. I didn’t want to take on a new job and go on maternity leave right away. But my mother, who had 4 kids and a great career, convinced me that it was my right to have a challenging career and still take time off for treatments, babies, etc.

    Anyway, 2 years later I’m still not pregnant (sigh….) and I’m so glad I took my mother’s advice. I love my new job, We’re better able to cope with the costs of treatments, and I have been able to juggle everything (not perfectly, or always easily, but I do it.) And having a challenging job gives me a sense of purpose, which helps me cope with not having children (yet…).

    My two cents.

  3. Go for it!! I put off so much because “I will be pregnant soon” and it was NOT worth it. I stopped living my life and ended up staying in a miserable awful job that made me horribly depressed. It’s not worth it. Take the job. When you get pregnant, you will figure out what to do next.

  4. I say take the job too! I don’t think you’ll regret taking it but might regret NOT taking it. Hard decision though, I know. Why can’t you take the job and still have babies? What if you were a typical fertile and had a “whoops” baby…they couldn’t hold THAT against you right? So I don’t think you should worry about treatment getting in the way. You can still carry on with the job and treatments and just go on mat leave when needed. Pregnancy is a full 9 months too so you have lots of time to train a replacement for while you’re on mat leave. Just my 2 cents!

  5. Everyone else said the right words. I say go for it! I know at some point we have all pushed something to the side because of fertility. I know I have and not that I regret that decision I made but I wish I would have said yes. I know I was naive and figured I would already have our little family. Good luck and no matter what you decide I know you will do just fine!

  6. I hope that you decided to take the job! After all if it doesnt work out the you can gracefully bow out. But there is no reason to think it wont work out! And the extra money in the bank will be great for your family and your baby WHEN s/he comes!

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