That’s it I’m going to be a crappy mom

So my sister (the donating sister) recently became a working mom, and her baby sitter ditched out on her for a week with only a week and a half notice. Lucky for her my dad is off for the summer (school librarian) and can watch her 2.5 yo and 5 month old most of the time. But she asked me to watch her kids on my days off for 2 days, all day. I internally freaked out.
Don’t get me wrong I love my nephews but the idea of watching them for a whole day is scary. I’ve only watched them for a half day max and I’m always wiped after. My nephew is smart and interactive but since his little brother came a long and ruined his life he is extra clingy with his favorite auntie Pom Pom (dont be jealous of my awesome nickname). He used to be able to play on his own for hours but now every second he must be entertained by me. I’m not really interesting enough to entertain a small child for that long. And what happens when I fail him? Yep melt down. Plus now that she has another child, he has competition for my attention.
Also I am working an extra Saturday shift that week so I my “me” time is already going to be in short supply. The idea of spending my days off trying to keep my high maintenance nephew happy isn’t sounding too good to me right now.
This is why I worry I’ll make a craptastic mom. My sister, when she was a stay at home mom, spent hours and hours teaching, playing with, and in general nurturing my nephew. It shows too, that kid is smart (already beginning to read) and sensitive. She’s kind of like my mom hero but I clearly lack her dedication. The idea of giving up so much of my free time and putting in that much work (while working full time too) totally deflates me. Especially since I totally judge (terrible I know) my other sister who has 4 kids and spends all her time playing world of war craft and ignoring her kids (one of which has special needs) I worry in the end, I’ll wind up closer to her on the mom spectrum because I wont have what it takes.
Oh and also I feel totally guilty telling my sister who is donating eggs to me that I can only watch her kids one day. I didn’t tell her why though because I’m secretly and irrationally scared she will change her mind if she suspects my real reasons; I led her to believe I was busy…


3 thoughts on “That’s it I’m going to be a crappy mom

  1. Okay, I used to worry about this all the time until I saw my Sister-in-Law in action with her daughter (my niece). Being with kids all day is EXHAUSTING. Hell, give me two hours of babysitting and I am too tired to move.

    BUT. I THINK (and I don’t know because I have no children yet), but I THINK that it is different when it’s your own kids. I’m sure it’s still exhausting and a ton of work, but what I can get from my SIL is that being around your own kid IS kind of like “me” time… YOU are entertained all the time, not necessarily the other way around.

    The other thing to note is: when you’re with your own kid, your kid has his/her own toys, stuff to do, and can entertain him/herself a bit more. I compare it to before I was married to Hubs. When Hubs was just Boyfriend, we would visit each other in our respective apartments and basically have to entertain each other constantly. We’d have to do everything together. Now that we are married and living together, he entertains himself and I entertain myself.

    Anyway, this is just a long-winded way of saying I think you’ll be a perfectly wonderful mom. And everyone worries about this.

    • Your advice seems pretty sound. I hope I can do it, plus I’ll have my husbands help a lot of the time. I think its hard when you have IF because we get to spend way more time considering and recosidering and agonizing over the decision to have a child. Its not “babies are cute” and bam you’re pregnant and its too late. I enjoyed your blog, thanks for finding me.

  2. No way would you be a terrible mom! Plus, our kids are going to be a lot more awesome, than those free kids. We’re paying for pedigree! šŸ˜‰ our kids will be busy reading ” war and peace” at two weeks. You totally got this!

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